I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
