oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
