I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
