i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
