Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
