Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
