i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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