the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you traded sex for a burrito?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
