Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
