We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think my fart just growled at me.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
