She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm passing your future prison.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
