sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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