then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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