Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Can Purell be used as lube?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
