its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
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