I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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