Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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