I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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