I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
