The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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