people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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