the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
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