he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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