remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize