is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
