Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
