had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
