Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
