He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
