Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Randomize
