no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
