Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
As shirtless as possible
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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