i think i have two assholes
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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