do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
