Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize