Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize