Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
