Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
