oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
