it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
