is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
