her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
