I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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