he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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