My liver just broke up with me...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Randomize
