Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
