He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
