If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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