I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
