She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
