so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
time to smoke my breakfast
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
