don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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