i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
