STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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