It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Congratulations! We have a period
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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