what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
