How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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