I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My breasts were aching with rage.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
